Payback by Kim Brogan

Author:Kim Brogan [Brogan, Kim]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Kim Brogan
Published: 2014-04-30T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 10

A New Home

Of course, I knew I was pregnant—had been since the first time he had unprotected sex with me on Christmas. I had gone to the clinic and spoke to the doctor, who recommended that with my past history of migraines, I should avoid birth control pills. So the physician’s assistant told me to come back the next week to be fitted with a diaphragm because they were low on diaphragms that would fit me.

When I went back ,I mentioned that I was a little late, only a few days, but the physician’s assistant decided to give me an examination anyway. According to the Filipina P.A., my cervix had turned a lovely purple-blue color and, combined with my tender breasts, the P.A. announced, “You’re probably pregnant. I’ll give you a home pregnancy test to take tomorrow morning when your hormone levels are the highest.”

I was dazed and confused. “How many days?”

“Not many, so you’re still in the danger zone. The chance of miscarriage in the first trimester are up to twenty-five percent, so don’t get too enthusiastic.”

“How long do I have if I want to have an abortion?”

She paused, somewhat surprised at the mention of an abortion. “Well, the first ninety days are your best bet. Do you want me to set you up for a consultation?”

“No, not yet.”

I never went for a consultation and never gave abortion a serious thought. It wasn’t as if I was pining to be a mother; I felt I still had plenty of time to have children. It was just that this baby would be my last link with Caden, and even if I wasn’t going to share the baby with him, I wanted to have that emotional connection. I knew it was selfish to have the baby, especially considering I was broke and had nowhere to go. But, I have always believed in myself. I knew that even if I was never published again, I would survive. I was the Gloria Gaynor of Hollywood.

At first I lost weight. I never threw up, but I didn’t have an appetite, and then the seventh week it hit me. I started eating like a trooper, and immediately my breasts grew bigger and my waist expanded. Caden had made a little jibe about my face and waist being fuller, but it was mild, and I could tell he was teasing more than criticizing.

In the end, I could barely zip my jeans up, let alone button them. One of the first things I did with the five hundred Caden had given me was to stop in Kalispell at the mall and buy a pair of maternity jeans which were on sale at Penney’s. I needed something more comfortable if I was going to be driving long distances.

Making my money last wasn’t going to be easy. My car sucked gas like a trailer park whore. I was going to take a chance and show up in Bakersfield and beg Joe Thompson for a job. The car would suck at least seventy-five gallons of gas, which meant that it was going to take most of my money.

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